Lesson 1: Keep Your Relationship Hopeful
- Some Tips
If you commit to a relationship, you want to feel hopeful
that you and your partner will succeed together. Unfortunately,
we too often act in ways that breed a sense of hopelessness
in each other. This lesson gives examples of "hopeless"
and "hopeful" behavior. You'll find tips here about
how you and your partner can help each other stay optimistic
and hopeful about being together.
Lesson 2: Find Your Real Home with
Each Other
Ideally, the idea of "home" means comfort, security
and acceptance. If that positive sense of home extends to you
being with your partner, then you feel truly "at home"
with that person, and the relationship benefits. This lesson
gives you a powerful five-step activity that you and your partner
can do together to make your relationship truly a home for the
two of you.
Lesson 3: You Experience the Partner
You Expect
Your picture of your partner largely determines how you experience
that person. If you have formed a negative view of him or her,
you are likely to notice mostly "evidence" that supports
that view. To build a successful relationship, experiment instead
with a positive picture of the other person, and notice evidence
for it. Will the relationship change – and how? This lesson
gives directions for an experiment to find out.
Lesson 4: See Yourselves as Learners
in Relationship School
In marriage, or any committed relationship, there are lessons
to learn, skills to master and tests – most of them unannounced.
You're in Relationship School; so why not see yourself –
and your partner as learners? The result would be greater tolerance
and a willingness to see problems as caused more by poor skills
than malicious intent. This lesson has practical tips for dropping
the "blame game" and approaching the relationship
cooperatively – as learners.
Lesson 5: Even in Conflict –
Stay Connected
People lose each other when they fight – sometimes seriously.
They end up not just on opposite sides of an issue, but enemies
practically. In this lesson you get five helpful tips for avoiding
hurtful fights. If you follow these suggestions, you and your
partner can differ – even passionately – but without
doing damage to each other or to the relationship.
The lesson also includes an additional five tips for staying
in (positive) touch with each other during a dispute. And, in
case you slip and do have a bad fight, there are also four do's
and don'ts for apologizing for your part afterward.
One way to use the lessons:
Overview
