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Do you need relationship coaching?
Is your marriage or couple relationship in trouble? Is it basically
okay but nothing like it could be – or used to be, when
you and your partner were really excited to be together?
Are you looking for something more than a platform for complaining
about your partner? Do you want practical solutions to real problems,
a new vision of possibility or a program for reviving the relationship
that will work, if you do your part?
If you answer yes to these questions, then give relationship
coaching a serious look, because it may offer what you need.
What is relationship coaching?
Relationship coaching, as it is followed on this site, is an
approach to bringing about change that helps people understand
their relationship difficulties and shortcomings in terms of the
skills and attitudes that are needed but lacking.
A program for essential skills and attitudes
In the relationship coaching program developed by Dr. Sanford,
you learn how to diagnose your relationship's skill needs. With
guidance, you then learn and practice those skills.
You also learn how to reorient yourself from failure to thinking
and acting for success - how to change complaints into wishes,
wishes into goals, goals into plans of action and plans into behavior
that brings you results. The person who is helps you with that
undertaking is your personal coach.
Your relationship coach
To understand what a relationship coach does, think athletic
coach. The roles are similar. Like a coach in sports, the relationship
coach has a goal strongly in mind – your success, in whatever
way you or you and your partner define it.
Your relationship coach teaches you strategies for reaching your
goal and holds you accountable for your commitments to yourself.
He can be tough but is also supportive and encouraging, even when
your own belief in yourself falters.
The coach challenges
Expect your coach to challenge limited thinking about what is
possible for you and - if you are working as a couple –
for your relationship. He helps you move beyond blame and regret
and take responsibility for your situation and the necessity of
working on it.
Not just action – feelings, too
With relationship coaching, as with sports, goals matter, action
matters, skills matter, practice matters. Relationship coaching
isn't athletics, however. Your coach recognizes that you may need
time to share your hurt, anger or confusion, before you are ready
to look for solutions.
Relationship coaching can be couple, individual or group. It
is usually conducted over the telephone. Exceptions include couples
intensives and workshops where participants and the coach are
physically present.
Relationship coaching for couples
You can expect to benefit from couples coaching if you and your
partner want to -
- Develop communication, problem-solving, cooperation and other
skills needed for living together
- Decide whether or not to stay together
- Deepen relationship intimacy
- Develop a shared vision of a desirable future and work to
realize it and/or
- Master the "success spiral," in which successes lead
to further successes and to an expanded vision of your possible
relationship.
Relationship coaching for individuals
You may find individual coaching helpful if you -
- Want to work on the relationship, but your partner is not
willing to join you in doing so
- Want to understand your part in the ending of a relationship
and learn the skills that you didn't have before
- Recognize that you need work on assertiveness, flexibility,
expressing feelings, self-reliance or some other dimension or
relationship that you can pursue on your own.
There are other situations in which individual coaching can
be beneficial. In addition to what you can gain yourself from
working alone, you may also influence your marriage or other relationship
for the better, simply through changing yourself and your own
behavior.
Group coaching
Group coaching is open both to individuals and to couples. It
is less expensive than either individual or couple's coaching.
In addition, group coaching provides opportunities for learning
from other people's experience, as well as giving and receiving
support and encouragement within the group.
Steps to relationship success
Marriages and other couple relationships seldom get better by
themselves. A method for change is needed. Our relationship-coaching
programs use a four-step model for change that we believe works
better than any other. The steps are –
- Insight. Use our library of 600+ practical articles
written by Dr. Sanford, to gain insight into the area(s) of
marriage and couple relationship that concern you.
- Skills. Learn the relationship skills that you need
under the guidance of your personal coach.
- Practice. Develop and carry out home practice assignments.
Post the results on the member's blog that you receive as a
coaching participant. Get feedback from your coach and others
in the coaching Practice Community.
- Support. Get unfailing support and encouragement from
your coach. Use the Practice Community to give and receive support
with others enrolled in our site programs.
You can read about our specific programs at Programs
Overview
For further reading – on
relationship coaching
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Overview
