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Coaching — the practical approach
If you are motivated to change your marriage or couple relationship
– or to make changes in your own behavior - relationship
coaching may provide the best route to success. Relationship coaching
is positive and practical.
At the beginning of our program, you will be asked, "What
do you want to change?"
From then on, the focus will be on change – making the
decisions that need to be made and learning the skills that changing
yourself or the relationship will require. There will be time
for working through obstacles in yourself and exploring feelings.
But moving forward in your life and in your relationship will
remain primary.
From an impulse to change to practical
action
In our coaching program, developed by Dr. Sanford, much of your
work will focus on translating the impulse to change into action
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- Exploring your situation to figure out what needs changing
- Establishing specific goals
- Learning the skills to achieve your goals
- Making and keeping action commitments to practice new skills
- Following through with the day-to-day work and, as your situation
changes -
- Expanding your vision of what can be achieved.
The focus on skills in our program reflects its practicality.
Skills are the often undervalued "how to" of relationship,
without which couple success is impossible.
When you and your partner learn and use the skills that succeeding
at your relationship demands, large obstacles diminish in size
and previously unsolvable problems get solved.
Beyond solving problems
Solving problems is not the ultimate gain, however. Your vision
of what is possible in your relationship also expands, as you
become more skillful in dealing with each other. For example -
- When you can listen to each other with greater receptivity
and understanding…
- When you can explore issues without fighting…
- When you can accept your differences (and even find
them interesting)…
Then you naturally tire of the limited sense of possibility
that you had when the relationship was mediocre. With your coach's
help, you develop a deeper and richer vision of the relationship
that you now see is possible.
At this point, you have moved beyond simply fixing problems
to begin the creative, exciting work of designing and building
the relationship that you really want and now see is possible.
Your coach's contribution
Your coach's approach will combine encouragement and support
with a degree of active, assertive involvement that is generally
more typical of athletic coaches than of the counselors or therapists
that typically do relationship work. Whether you elect individual
or couples coaching, your coach will –
- Help you develop an action plan for learning the
relationship skills that you need
- Guide you in learning and practicing those skills
- Hold you accountable for the commitments you make
with yourself to reach your goals
- Champion your strengths
- Challenge you when you are tempted to give up on
yourself or your goals
- Help you develop a strong, compelling vision of the
relationship that you want
For further reading –
Coaching & Counseling Overview
Why This Program
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Overview
